Sexchuuyal Frustration
by MissTinfoilHat
Summary: Dazai has to lay his sex-life on hold when substaining an injury. Desperation and frustration ensue- when his partner, Chuuya, finds out.


**I really don't know how the rating system works… **

**Warnings: Implied masturbation I guess, and strong language.**

**...  
**

**This is a short one-shot I wrote because I couldn't help but laughing myself silly when I came up with the title.**

**I don't know. **

**I'm sorry mom. **

**It's really not that bad... and I might even add a chapter if people seem to enjoy it!**

* * *

"Lucy, honey- I'm home," Dazai sang merrily while closing the front door. He chipped his shoes off, making them bounce off the wall and onto the floor. His tan coat was shed and hung on a hook in the entry.

"Don't you I-love-Lucy me, _mackerel_! And, for your information, you're not exactly a Ricky Ricardo yourself, _mister_..." Chuuya came out from their kitchen, holding a bowl with some kind of batter, waving a whisker threateningly towards the taller man.

Chuuya stopped his playful bickering when he saw the state of his (_in_)significant other _(as Chuuya often emphasized_). Dazai's clothes were dirty and shredded. His face was covered in scratches and bruises, while his bandaged arms had clearly been newly dressed. Most noticeable in spite of this, was that his boyfriend was leaning on a pair of crutches.

"What the hell?" Chuuya yelled accusingly, gesticulating the whisker furiously at his lover. Dazai backed away to the best of his abilities but was unable to avoid the flying pancake batter from spilling at his clothes. "You call me four hours ago, telling me you have to work late and now you're showing up fucking injured? Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

"I'm okay," Dazai frowned. "There wasn't really much you could have done anyway. I just thought it might be better if I'd just get treated and come home to you, and show you that I actually was fine, instead of you pacing burn marks to the floor for four hours."

Chuuya wanted to continue to yell- it was his way of showing that he cared- and Dazai knew. He was stopped before he could, when Dazai leaned forward with a soft expression on his face. Chuuya closed his eyes, readying himself for the reassuring kiss of the man he loved so much that it literally hurt sometimes. Instead, Dazai licked his nose.

Startled, Chuuya looked up at Dazai, who was wearing a strangely thoughtful expression on his face.

"Hmmm- yeah. That's it! Too much salt- you should probably add some more milk."

Chuuya's face instantly turned crimson red with fury. Dazai just smiled and limped past him. "You have batter all over your face chibi," he laughed before carefully dropping to the couch, wincing in pain at the movement and struggling to get his feet up.

At the sight of his hurt lover, Chuuya had no choice but to soften up. He did actually feel really bad for him.

"Here, I'll help you," he stated. Gingerly, he lifted Dazai's feet up, careful not to make any sudden movements to aggravate the pain.

"What happened?" he asked when Dazai seemed somewhat comfortable.

"Just got a blow to my side, that's all. Dislocated my hip and got a fracture in my pelvis," Dazai explained as if it was no big deal.

"Are you _shitting me_? What kind of '_blow_' causes a fucking hip joint to dislocate? That's like a _car-crash _kinda blow to the side, Dazai," Chuuya exclaimed, with more worry than anger this time.

"Well, yeah. So maybe it was a car-crash-blow to the side, then." Dazai shrugged.

"You're unbelievable, shitty-mackerel."

"Slimy slug."

"Stickman."

"Strawberry shortcake."

"No! _Not_ strawberry shortcake!" Chuuya folded his arms and pouted.

"Oh come on, they're rosy and sweet, _so much unlike you_."

A twitch in the creek of Chuuya's mouth forced it into a smile, and he chuckled.

"_Stupid_," Chuuya uttered before getting up and turning to walk to the kitchen. "Did that witchdoctor of yours say how long it will take to heal?"

"Depends, but with no complications- maybe 2-3 months, because of the hip. And then," Dazai groaned. "Physical therapy for who knows how long."

"That'll probably be good for you, the taking it easy for a while and then getting some exercise-part."

"And no sex," Dazai added.

A clank was heard from the kitchen.

"Chuuya? You okay in there?"

"Wha-what was that?" Chuuya came back into the small living room. "Theat last part... what did you say?"

"What, no sex?" Dazai almost couldn't hold himself from smirking at the desperation in his partner's voice. He himself could go without sex for weeks and even months. The time spent training for the Port Mafia had thought him to control those types of urges. Chuuya on the other hand... something must have slipped in his training schedule.

"Uhu, yeah. I-uh, that part, yeah," Chuuya rambled. "How, uh, how long did she say?"

Dazai looked tiredly at him, gloating internally at the panic starting to show not-so-subtly at the small man.

"Hard to say," Dazai explained, emphasizing the Word _hard_, for his own amusement. "It will depend on the pain."

"And how- how's the pain, like, right now?" Chuuya's legs looked like they gave up under his weight as he sat heavily down on the couch, in front of Dazai, who hissed as the weight shifted under him.

Dazai wished he was exaggerating the pain to taunt Chuuya, but the fact was that he did not. It actually hurt like a royal bitch. He'd have sex with Chuuya when he was ready. Not a moment before, not a moment later.

Right now though- he could have some fun with the out-of-character franticness of the love of his life.

* * *

Dazai stirred in his sleep. Something kept brushing up and down his horribly bruised hip, leaving him almost breathless from the anticipated jolt of pain.

He unwillingly opened his eyes, staring back at the man next to him. Innocently, Chuuya was cuddling his butt closer to Dazai.

"_Chu_-" Dazai irked, trying to shift away from the annoying horndog next to him.

"_Huh_? What?" Chuuya acted like he jolted awake, looking around the room._ No one knew better than Dazai that carrot top over there slept heavier than the blows of his ultimate ability_.

"Fuck off, slug. I'm in _actual_ pain- I'm _drugged_ out of my mind and I want to sleep, so _please_, stop grinding your fucking pooper against me."

Chuuya huffed. "I didn't..." he sulked, curling in on himself slightly hurt.

The peace continued for no less than 45 minutes before Dazai felt his hand being tugged at and brushing over something fleshy and slightly moist.

"Chuuya! For the love of God!" The pain shot through his hip as he forced his hand away from the swollen member of his boyfriend.

"Oh come ooon, just a small handy... I'm literally blue-balling over here," Chuuya complained.

"We_ literally_ had sex this morning, _twice_! You're_ not_ having blue balls! _Jesus-our savior-christ_, just rub one out!"

"But- I want _you_ to rub me out..." Chuuya moped. "It was a really busy day at work, Kouyou-sensei yelled at me as I was a little child and Akutagawa-kun was really annoying during the break, and..."

"It sounds like every day at the Port Mafia, chibi._ Please_, just wank off or go to sleep."

"Could I at least... watch you? While I do it?"

Dazai rolled his eyes. "You really want to watch my dick while you masturbate?"

"It'd be better than nothing," Chuuya said in a tone that hinted at just the slightest drop of relief.

Dazai scoffed. "Whatever floats your fucked-up goat I guess. If you think _you_ have blue balls..." he said and threw the covers to the side, revealing his gauze-covered hip, covered in dark purple bruises and swellings that covered most of his side as well as his groin.

"I guess I'll show you some freaking blue balls."

Chuuya's eyes widened at the sight and he could feel the blood that was rushing to his erection run _completely_ cold.

"Come on chibi, show me what you've got!" Dazai smiled teasingly.

"You're kind of an asshole sometimes, you know that?" Chuuya growled quietly, settling back to his side of the bed.

Dazai reached a hand out towards his lover, twining his fingers in his red locks. "I know," he said weakly. "But I love you."

Chuuya's body froze momentarily, cursing under his breath.

"Seriously, it's_ that_ easy?"

Chuuya gnarled and sat up on the bed. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom," he mumbled awkwardly, got up and walked stiffly across the room to the bathroom that was connected to the bedroom.

Dazai hummed silently at Chuuya's desperation and tried to muffle a laugh when he heard the wet whacking noise from the slightly opened door. Climax followed shortly after, and a choked cry was heard before it went still.

The toilet was flushed, followed by the sink being turned on. A moment later, Chuuya returned and cuddled in under the covers.

"I love you too, you fucking sadist."


End file.
